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About

In this powerful episode of the Resilient Pastor podcast, hosts Rich Velotis, Glenn Packiam, and Sharon Miller sit down with bestselling author and pastor Ken Shigematsu to explore the crisis of credibility facing pastors today. They dive deep into how toxic shame, envy, comparison, and the pressure for admiration impact leadership and personal well-being. Drawing from his latest book, Now I Become Myself, Ken shares how deep grace heals shame, restores our true identity in Christ, and empowers leaders to live and lead from belovedness rather than performance.

The conversation also examines the vital role of contemplation, hiddenness, solitude, sabbath, silence, and confession in forming resilient pastors. Whether you're battling mission drift from social media comparison or carrying the weight of unrealistic expectations, this episode offers practical wisdom and spiritual practices to help pastors rediscover peace, presence, and authenticity in ministry.

Key Takeaways

• Pastors face a growing crisis of credibility — learning to manage its impact on the soul is essential for long-term resilience.
• Envy and comparison create mission drift; leaders must guard their focus and stay in the lane God has given them.
• Healthy shame can serve as a warning system, but toxic shame becomes part of our identity and must be healed by God’s grace.
• Contemplative practices like silence, solitude, sabbath, and confession root us in God’s love and free us from the need for human admiration.
• Working from a place of belovedness (not anxious striving) leads to greater presence, creativity, courage, and fruitfulness.
• Hiddenness and privacy are not the same as secrecy — they create space for healing without the pressure of public opinion.
• A Rule of Life acts as a trellis that exposes us to the sunlight of God’s love and helps us live as our true selves.

Highlights

• “When someone doesn’t feel loved, they seek to be admired.” — Ken Shigematsu
• “Envy creates mission drift… it’s like seeing billboards tempting you to exit the lane God has called you to.” — Sharon Miller
• “You don’t have to bring your perfect self to Jesus. You can bring your failed self to Jesus.” — Glenn Packiam
• “The purpose of secrecy is to hide so sin can continue. The purpose of privacy is to heal without the weight of public opinion.” — Sharon Miller
• “Shame only takes 2–3 seconds to form in the brain, but affirmation takes 30–90 seconds. Prayer helps us slow down and savor God’s love.” — Ken Shigematsu
• “A rule of life is like a trellis for the soul — it positions us to receive more of God’s light and love.” — Ken Shigematsu
• “Jesus loves the real you — not the idealized version of you.”

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