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About

In this heartfelt episode of the Resilient Pastor podcast, co-hosts Glenn Packiam, Sharon Miller, and Rich Villodas welcome Sharon’s husband, Dr. Ike Miller — church planter, theologian, and author of Good Baggage. Recorded on Reformation Day, the conversation explores how leaders shape church culture, the unique challenges of church planting, and the surprising redemptive power hidden in difficult childhoods. Ike shares transparently about growing up with an alcoholic parent, battling codependency in ministry, and discovering how our “baggage” can become a superpower for empathy, responsibility, and pastoral care.

Blending personal story, practical leadership wisdom, and rich theological reflection on participation in Christ’s healing work, this episode offers hope and clarity for any pastor or leader navigating stress, identity, and congregational culture.

Key Takeaways

• Every church has a unique charism and role in the ecosystem of a city — leaders must discern and name what the Holy Spirit has already been doing in their context.
• Healthy church culture is shaped by three things: codifying existing strengths, embracing the leader’s particular story and passions, and anchoring everything in gospel imperatives.
• Church planting offers a rare opportunity to build culture intentionally from the ground up, but it still requires patience and long-term clarity.
• Childhood wounds and coping mechanisms (especially codependency) often transfer into pastoral leadership, causing over-functioning and emotional exhaustion.
• “Good Baggage” reveals how survival skills from difficult childhoods — reading emotional temperature, hyper-responsibility, and a deep desire for healthy relationships — can be redeemed into powerful tools for empathy, care, and leadership.
• Healing is not passive. Jesus consistently invites people to participate in their own healing, just as we are invited to join God’s redemptive work in our stories.
• The practice of the “Five Whys” combined with listening prayer helps leaders move beneath surface stress to root issues of identity, approval, and childhood pain.

Highlights

• “Every decision you made during COVID was clarifying values.” — Ike Miller
• “Control believes the false promise that if I can fix this thing outside of myself, then I will be healed.” — Sharon Miller
• “I realized I had transferred my childhood codependency to an entire congregation — trying to manage everyone’s emotions with my words and actions.” — Ike Miller
• “We know on a deep level that we want our relationships to go differently — and that becomes motivational power for healthy relationships today.” — Ike Miller
• “Jesus doesn’t just heal the man born blind. He says, ‘Go wash.’ He invites participation in our own healing.” — Ike Miller
• “Your church will become like its pastors — in that beautiful particularity.” — Sharon Miller
• “The Five Whys combined with listening prayer is one of the most powerful tools for interior work I’ve found.” — Ike Miller

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